Gratitude

Hey Stranger,

I hope you are well.

Two days ago I came back to the U.K. and I am officially moving to London in 10 days! I can’t express what I am feeling right now...

Excitement, a bit of fear too. I really can’t believe this will be the fourth time that I am moving in two years. I can only say that it can be really hard to do this by yourself...

I need to remind myself that I’ve got this, I need to do this in order to move forward and be closer to achieving my dreams and goals.

On August 1st I will celebrate two years since I moved to the U.K. Cheers! I will buy a small cake and a candle because bloody hell, you have no idea how many times I wanted to give up...

Let’s celebrate! We should celebrate all our efforts and sacrifices! I am proud of myself for learning how to be so damn strong all alone. Don’t give up, things do get easier!

I need to start packing and this gives me a bit of anxiety because I need to prioritise what I will take with me and store the rest. I won’t really have the same space that I have here so, I will see...

Remember how I wrote about the fact that I will try to eat healthy back home? Needless to say, it didn’t exactly go like that. I overindulged mostly because I missed that amazing food and I know I can’t find it here haha, unless I go to special stores and I am willing to pay more.

Anyway, I checked my weight yesterday and I only gained less than 1kg so around 1.5 lbs, thinking about it, it’s basically nothing. I checked it again today and guess what? I have the exact same weight I had few days before going back home. I am honestly really surprised, given the fact that I naturally gain easily and super fast, freaking good job dear body! I love you!!!

Now I am back at fasting properly, at least 16 hours daily, tracking my macros and eating healthy. It’s also a lot easier to do it here, even if I am cooking for the landlord too, high carb meals mostly!

I had a phone appointment few days ago to discuss my x-rays, apparently everything is fine but I am not surprised to hear that because they can never see anything when it comes to x-rays. I told the doctor that I had the same issue back home but I am constantly in pain, since I was 7 years old. I told her I need an MRI ASAP because I need my injections. I also told her that I had the last one in January 2019 and I could send the results but I am sure my condition has worsen considerably. She didn’t fight me after I told her about this and the hyaluronic acid injections. I have an MRI appointment on Sunday, yuhu! They will only check the right knee which is the most painful and damaged but I am fine with that, I hope they won’t tell me again that ‘everything is fine’ because I am not accepting any of this nonsense. I am in a lot of pain and I want to workout properly. I don’t want painkillers, I don’t ‘suggestions’ about how I should train or eat. I want a real solution and I won’t settle for less! Don’t let anyone tell you that what you feel isn’t valid. Emotional or physical pain, you know best how you are feeling and how that is affecting your life!

I want to thank all of you for constantly supporting me! Guys, I have no words to tell you how much I appreciate you!!! You are amazing! I love this community so much, you have contributed immensely to my progress because you are here, reading my thoughts and sending me such heartwarming messages! Some of you even told me that you love me... I can finally admit that I love you too, it’s definitely not premature! You make me so happy. It’s such a wonderful feeling when someone really appreciates what you do! You keep encouraging and motivating me to write and achieve all my goals! I can’t thank you enough! At this point I can say that we've been through everything together, it wasn't just me.

All my life I’ve been looking for something to make me feel complete and writing makes me feel like I’ve found my voice and I can be myself here!

Thank you, thank you, thank youuuuu!!!

I have so many things to share with you and I can’t wait to do so.

Love you and take care!

By the way, I took this phone over a year ago before I moved to Luton.

Bristol, U.K.