Redirection

Hello Stranger,

I hope life has been treating you well!

Happy October, may this new month bring you happiness, peace of mind, and only good news!

The last time I posted, I reached almost 9,000 readers in one day!!!

That is truly a new record and I want to thank all of you for constantly supporting my work and efforts when it comes to writing, you are the reason I keep going!

This article will be shorter compared to my usual ones. It is merely an update on how things are going at the moment. I was really sick for about a week, and I am finally starting to feel better now.

I will be very busy these next few months and I may not be able to write again until Christmas, apologies in advance.

So, I have started my new job about a month ago already! I still can’t believe this is happening.

Going from never even considering this kind of career, to thinking that I might not be smart enough to study this at university (I am well aware now that I am more than smart enough to do absolutely anything), to teaching myself this kind of skills and being offered a job with a great company after learning for less than a year.

It certainly feels like a dream! The truth is, I could have probably achieved this slightly earlier, but I was so focused on attempting to move to another country that somehow I didn’t want to check what was right in front of me! I am actually thrilled that this is an apprenticeship while being paid as a junior, absolutely amazing!

I’ve started the 3-month bootcamp that will not only reinforce what I have already learned on my own, but also learn new things, and the best part is I will be fully paid!

It's been fun so far, it certainly makes me focus more on problem-solving.

Sometimes, I still do things the old fashion way: pen and paper, before I attempt to write any code. It helps me understand the logic behind things, but honestly, sometimes I think about those types of problems like I think about cooking. I consider which ingredients I need, and all the steps I need to cook that recipe, so basically I just try to break down the problem.

Maybe for some people, this might be a strange analogy, but you know, find what works best for you. We are all unique!

For now, everything is remote, I can go to the office if I want to but it’s really flexible.

Afterward, I am joining the team, while still studying some days.

Everything is really practical, and I prefer learning by doing rather than focusing on theory.

The apprenticeship provider is called Multiverse so do have a look if you are interested (UK and US only for now).

Officially, they have just been granted Degree Awarding Powers and they already have some degree apprenticeships, and currently working on creating a degree apprenticeship for software engineering. My employer already said that they would most probably support me to continue and actually get the degree in the future. Now please keep your fingers crossed for me so that it is created as soon as possible.

Everyone has been really nice so far, my apprenticeship coach, line manager, team manager, and apprenticeship group manager. I know, many people to remember.

What I appreciate the most is also my ability to communicate better, I don’t feel anxious at all and I am definitely getting much better at making small conversation, being assertive, and also asking for help without feeling shame (this happened a lot in aviation, I was shamed when I asked something by those that had more experience and I was told ‘you were supposed to know this already’.

If you think I am exaggerating, trust me, I am not! This led to an irrational fear of asking anything so that I don’t appear underprepared. Back with my first airline, I had such a crappy base manager that thrived on making people feel bad and certainly made it a mission to bully me and make everything horrible, and he spread lots of rumors about me like I am terrible and stupid, and I know nothing. He flew with me a week after I started so meh, it was literally my first job, I asked a couple of questions to make sure I am doing things right…

So why am I bringing this up now and giving you quite a few details? Because I am trying to get to the root of certain reactions, behaviors, and fears so that hopefully, I can work on it and break the damn vicious cycle. Hope this makes you think as well!).

There is honestly a lot of change going on right now. I just moved back to London.

I remember at the beginning of last year that I mentioned in an article that I will be back one day, well, here I am!

Sharing a house again after having the opportunity to live on my own for the first time, can feel overwhelming even if it's just with one person!

I am not going to sugarcoat it, this year has been difficult and challenging!

There are many things that I haven’t shared but, it's okay.

The number of times I asked myself if this is even worth all the sacrifices and hard work, many personal issues, as well as my health declining considerably.

There are moments when I look into the mirror and I feel like I am just looking at a stranger…

I have been changing so much. Old me is nowhere to be seen, yet I can’t seem to be able to describe who I am right now either. I feel like I am in the middle of a transition, it feels fitting to say that I am truly a work in progress.

I do feel like I have been focused so much on creating a career path and learning something every day, that I have started to feel like I must do it, and taking days off will just delay the outcome.

Certainly, I have been neglecting myself and my needs. I have been pushing myself a lot, and that’s mostly because I am tired.

This isn’t just a job for me, I want it to be a career. Something that I enjoy, something that keeps challenging and helping me grow, but at the same time I want this to be the career that finally gives me the financial stability and security that I not only want but deserve.

If you’ve been reading my blog since 2020, you know nothing has been easy for me, on the contrary, every time I hoped things were getting better, life gave me a new slap.

Maybe it was a wake-up call...

I do deserve better and I will make sure that I build a life nobody else can take away from me.

I don’t want to chase money and be blinded by it, but I also don’t want to constantly wonder if I can afford something or not and if I have enough for an emergency, and most importantly I want to offer myself proper health care because I am not bloody waiting another decade to get the surgery I so much need.

Just a piece of advice, don’t wait for someone to rescue you!

This is your life and you are the only one who can truly change it and make it into whatever you want it to be.

Growth can be uncomfortable and even painful, but it is worth it.

It’s okay if you don’t know what you want to do with your life now, it’s okay if things that you used to think are what you want don’t feel like that anymore, it’s okay if you are still exploring and learning about the person you want to be.

Take your time, be kind to yourself, and be open to the unknown.

I have many plans, personal and professional but I do have to take it slowly, it’s not a race.

I need to prioritize myself more!

Pinky promise I will write informative articles soon, including one about my journey in tech, honest reviews about resources I’ve used with both pros and cons, and what I’d do differently if I could go back in time. I strongly believe that sharing is caring and I refuse to be a gatekeeper!

Today I just want to appreciate everything that did not work out because new doors were opened offering better opportunities. Rejection can be redirection!

Everything is working out now way better than I could have possibly imagined and I have come so far!

All the disappointments, heartaches, and discomfort showed me how strong I am and I can see everything more clearly now.

I am also grateful that this year I had the chance to take some time off to just study and prepare, live alone for a few months, explore a city in Northern England and live a walking distance from the sea.

I want to thank everyone who has always believed in me, everyone who has rooted for me and celebrated with me every victory!

You have a special place in my heart! Everything you wish for me, I wish ten times more for you. May you be blessed!

Take care!

Today's song: https://youtu.be/scrv7b5hJVc

As a reference, this beauty is Sunderland! It's definitely my favorite city so far.

#progress #personaljourney #youcandothis #personalblog